Too Smooth

One of the worst kept 'secrets' in the nutty world of off-season football transfers is Mark Hughes' desire to add Joleon Lescott to his squad at Eastlands.

I love Too Smooth. Alright so he messed up in the Cup Final for Drogba's goal, but who didn't that afternoon? Even Moyes gave up on that left-back nonsense and admitted he'd have to take the tough decision to pick two from three at centre-back. Aside from United, I think he'd improve any top Premier League side in his position. Take Arsenal for example. How could they not be better with Lescott in the centre of that defence? Would anyone swap Toure or Gallas for him?

Now, saying all that, I find it hard to believe we're going to keep him. The cash-rich Manchester club's opening offer is £15m. They just paid that for Santa Cruz and similar for Barry - both with shorter contracts and Lescott is Hughes' number one choice. Everton have to say no to the £15m for two reasons. First, it's just what you do, a sort of pride thing. Like selling your house - you never take the first bid. Second, we need more. Lescott's replacement is likely to cost at least £8m for someone either half-way decent or experienced. And, whatever nonsense coming out of Elstone et al, we need this money to fund our other moves.

I don't want Joleon to leave, he's one of our pivotal players in the same group as Howard, Arteta, Pienaar and The Yak. However, if he is to be sold, we need to claw back every penny of that oil money. Ask for £20m and take no less than £17m. Get a sturdy replacement in quick and put the remaining £10m towards improving our midfield (and by that I don't mean Stephen Hunt, David).

Whatever the final sale price, Everton will have made a handsome profit. Too Smooth will be set for life. He's given us great service, played for England and in a Cup Final. So we bank a bit, find the next Lescott and all move on. That's football.